Dear Jayden..

Jayden,

How can it be almost a year since you came into this world?!? At 7pm a year ago my world changed forever. I still till this day did not believe that this would ever happen to me. Daddy and I were so excited to see you in the ultrasound. You were so active and had such a strong heartbeat. We loved you from the minute I was pregnant. You were so wanted and so loved. I loved our moments when I would lay in bed and just feel you kick and move. They were my favorite moments. Do you know how much I miss you? I really hope you do. My heart beats for you every day.   Your sister and brother talk about you a lot and miss you too. Austen doesn't understand as much, he keeps asking when you are coming back. Oh how I wish it was that easy.  I pray that you are surrounded by love ones, as well as other babies that have gone to soon. I pray that Paige, Hope, Reese, Tyler all surround you. I pray that they are having a huge birthday party for you.  We are planning one for you as well. We even got you a cake that you Daddy picked out. I promise you that Mommy will do her best to make your day the best that it can be. The problem is you are not here. I know I will see you again someday, but my arms ache for my missing child. I still remember the doctor giving you to be after I delivered you and my angel Audree right there with me. I couldn't have done it without her. Your Daddy is so strong, he is strong for mommy because somedays are just too tough for me. He misses you so much Jayden. He loves you so and I know he treasured the time he got to spend with you. I wish I could hold you again...I know some day I will, but right now I want to hold you.  I wish there was a way for me to know you were with me. You were the most perfect boy ever and I know you would have looked just like your big brother!  

Mommy misses you my sweet boy! I hope you can feel my love and kisses all the way from here! I love you more than you will ever know! ⭐️💙

Love your Mommy