Jayden's 2nd birthday in heaven

I know it has been awhile since I wrote again, but I wanted to share about Jayden's birthday! I can not believe it has been 2 years since I lost Jayden. I was thankful that Jay took off Jayden's birthday. We got to spend the whole day together which was so nice. We got balloons for Jayden and picked up a cake. We took the kids out for dinner and we celebrated the best we could without our sweet boy!
The kids always love to write notes to Jayden on their balloons. Austen really got into it since he is writing so well now. It melted my heart.

Jayden, mommy misses you every day and it breaks my heart that you aren't with me and your family. I know someday we will meet again. I love you my sweetboy!

A Gift

Yesterday I did something I never thought I could have done. I had bought a baby boy present to be given to the first baby boy that was born on Jayden's birthday! I am thankful that both Vikki and Audree were there yesterday to help me out with this. I am also so thankful for my friend Catherine, who even though she just lost a baby recently herself, she offered to go with me so I wouldn't have to go alone. I am thankful and blessed to have these people in my life!

Happy Birthday to Audree

Today is Audree's birthday, she is my angel here on earth.  I am so thankful for her and for being there that night when I found out we were going to lose Jayden. Since then she has become a part of our family, our kids play together and the bond I have with her will always be strong. I am so thankful for all that she has done for me and for others. Happy Birthday my forever friend! Love you my friend and hope you have an amazing day!!!

Time is flying

It has been so long since I have written on my blog. I am not sure why I haven't. I feel like so much has happened in just these past couple months. Austen starting kindergarten was a big shock for me, thankfully he has an amazing teacher. I am not sure what I would do if Miss Gauger wasn't his teacher. She is definitely a gift sent from God. Austen is loving kindergarten which is amazing and in just these past couple of months he has learned so much. He is so proud of himself and so our we. There is still a part of me that hurts everytime he gets on that bus every morning. How can my little man be gone all day?? I should have a 2 year old at home and the thought of Jayden not being here with me is so hard.

Addison is loving 3rd grade, but she is realizing it is not as much fun as 2nd grade. Although she does get to use Chrome books every day which she was so excited about. I feel like she is growing up so fast and I am not sure how I feel about it. I love that we can share more together, but sometimes..all the time I wish she was my cute little toddler. She is loving soccer right now and is loving the team she is on. We couldn't be more proud of her.

I can hardly believe it is November. Time is just going too fast! I am keeping busy working for Rodan and Fields as a Consultant, an Assistant Preschool teacher and still working at the gym. I LOVE all my jobs, but they for sure keep me busy! I hope to blog more than I have been. I feel that blogging helps me especially when I am coming up to Jayden's 2 year.

Life...

Boy life has been crazy lately.  I wanted to update on how Austen is doing with kindergarten. He loves every minute of it. He is learning so much and just loves going. He loves coming home and telling us all he learned. He came home yesterday telling us all about him learning syllables and knowing how to find how many syllables in a name. He lights up every time he talks about school! I am so thankful for his teacher and all she does for him! She also sends pictures home which I love!

Happy 9th Birthday to Addison Christina!!

I can not believe it has been 9 years since Addison was born! My life has changed so much just from the moment she was born. She made me a mom and I am so thankful for that. Being a mom is the best job in the entire world. Addison we love you so much and hope you have an amazing birthday!!!

Been awhile..

Wow, I am really slacking on this blog thing. There is no real excuse except for the fact that I don't get to really sit down and sit at my computer too often to just type out a post. The end of the year of school has come and gone and I just can not believe that I will have a 3rd grader and a kindergartener in my house. :( Seriously makes me so sad. I am trying to make this summer go as slow as possible. I do not know what I will do without Austen at home. My heart breaks so much knowing that I should have a little boy running around the house as well. I still have such a hard time with this. I honestly do not know why our boy had to be taken away. It still feels like some nightmare and sometimes it still is.

We went to Florida with my whole family and it was nice to get away and enjoy some pool time and sun. The kids had a blast and we were lucky to have been able to stay as long as we could. It was hard to come back to reality, like it always is, but we are still so blessed. Our summer is busy with the kids in different camps and then a trip out to see our Virginia Beach Family! It should be a lot of fun!

Thinking and missing my sweet boy Jayden

You would have been celebrating your first birthday today. I miss you so much! I think about what kind of theme party we would have been having for you. I think about what gifts you would have gotten. I am sure you would have been interested in the same things that Austen was at that age. Addison and Austen would have had fun helping you blow out your candles. I just miss you so much and my heart hurts today thinking of you! 

Addison and Austen

Addison and Austen seem to be growing up so fast these days. I just don't know how I can be the mother of an 8 and 5 year old. Time is going so fast, before I know it I will be registering Austen for kindergarten. :( Does NOT make me happy!

Addison is LOVING school and we are so thankful that she has the same teacher she had for 1st grade! She is learning and growing just too fast! She will be making her First Holy Communion this May and I am so proud of her! Every time I look at her I just don't understand how she could have grown as fast as she did. She is really into singing and theater which of course makes me happy since that is my background! She is a loving and outgoing girl with lots of friends. It breaks my heart sometimes when she gets her feelings hurt but friends, but for the most part she is a very strong, independent girl. I am so blessed that she is mine!

 Austen is growing so fast. How can he be starting kindergarten in the fall!?!? Luckily he is LOVING school these days! He is so cute with his best buddy Mason. He has been so good at school this year and is coming such a long way! He can even write his own name! Jay and I are beyond proud of him. When we were at his last conference with his teacher I looked through all the paperwork the teacher was going through and could still picture him as that tiny 5 lb baby boy in the hospital. Why does time have to go so fast?! Through everything we have been through with losing Jayden, I am so thankful to have Austen home with me. He is my sweet snuggle bug and tells me he loves me about 100 times a day! How lucky am I?

At the same time I can not believe that I have a baby boy in heaven?!? There are still days that I am like wait this is MY reality! I miss Jayden every single minute of the day! I pray that he knows how much I love him and miss him! If I stop to think about how he was robbed of knowing my love and when I think about all the firsts I am missing makes my heart ache! I just pray that I will see him again and it will feel like I had never left his side.

New Adventure

I don't know why it has been so hard for me to keep up with this lately. I recently joined my friend Katie's team and I am now a Consultant for Rodan and Fields skincare line! I am so excited about this journey and I am thankful to have a supportive husband by my side. Please pass my information on to anyone you think might be interested!