So I am not sure why it takes me so long to keep up with this. Life sure keeps me busy with these two kids. I am blessed with these two kids, but life sure can get hard at times. I have had many struggles more since losing Jayden. Yes, I know for those that follow my blog know that it has been over 4 years now of me losing Jayden, but every day it is still fresh. I am still not the same person I was before losing him. That is ok. It is okay for me not to be the same person. I am thankful for those people that have stuck by me thru it all.
So many years laters things have changed, mostly my kids have getting bigger. Addison is 11 going on 14. I look at her every day and can not believe that I have a daughter this old. She is so beautiful and I am so thankful she is mine. Life is tough sometimes because she gets hormonal and I feel bad that she has to go thru all this so early, but she is handling it so well. I want her to know so much that I am trying, I am really trying my hardest. Maybe it doesn't always seem like it, but I am really trying.
Austen, god bless him is my little man. I feel so much that at times I am closer to him because I believe Jayden is working thru him and almost living thru him in a way. I know that may sound weird, but it is so true. It at least feels true for me. He can give me a run for my money for sure, but when it comes down to it, I know that he tries his hardest to make sure I am ok.
I really feel that I try my hardest every day and not sure it seems like it on the outside. I know somedays it may not seem that way.
I am needing to realize that it is okay, for me to not always be okay. I try every day to be the best mom/wife I can be and I just hope my family knows that I am doing the best I can.
