I just got some new lights for Jayden's tree and it makes me happy. I love looking at his tree and seeing his ornaments. It makes me sad that he is not here, but I also love when the lights are on. I am all about having tangible items since I don't have my boy with me. This time is just getting harder and harder. I can feel the inside on my heart hurting. I honestly can not believe it has been a year since this all has happened. I honestly am not sure what else to say right now.
Jayden-
Mommy misses you so much. I hate that you are not here with me and despite what others say it is not any easier. I am still not where I thought I would be. I wish I could hold you and kiss you. I hope you know how much I love you and want you hear with me every day. I hope you can feel my love. I miss you so much! I wish I could feel that you are near me. My heart aches every day for you.
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