Been Awhile

It has been awhile since I could post. We have had a lot of ups and downs especially with Jay not having a job. I am praying every day that he finds something soon. I feel like him not having a job is overshadowing the fact that we lost Jayden. I hate that feeling. That isn't fair to us or to Jayden.  I hate his ex boss for doing this when he did. It is never easy to lose a job, but my god it had be just 3 months since we lost Jayden. 2014 has not been a good year so far.  I am looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. I am so thankful for our support group, without them I would be lost.

Return to Zero is a movie that came up, a true story about a couple who suffered a stillborn loss. This movie should be watched by everyone.  Minnie Driver who played the wife, her emotions were right on...it was so real and I am so thankful this movie came out. As sad as it is, this story needed to be told to help educate people understand this situation.  I feel like some people think that I am just over it, that really you are still talking about this. Yes I am, this was my son...I hate that he is not here. I want to scream so loud. I am still so angry at God and angry at other people having kids. This part is so hard. I miss Jayden every day and I just wish I could hold him, kiss, him, talk to him and just watch him sleep. AHHH! I want to scream right now!