Been Awhile..

It has been a little while that I have actually been able to blog about what is going on instead of just posting pictures. It has now been 5 months since Jayden came into the world. I still can not believe this is our reality and I know I say that probably once a week, but it is the truth. I honestly can not believe how far we have come. There is still not a day that goes by that I don't think of my sweet Jayden. I miss him so much! I think I am afraid that I will forget, not forget him, but forget the little moments I got to spend with him. I can still remember holding him and thinking how fragile he is as I passed him along to Jay or Audree. I so wanted to see his eyes. He was just the most perfect little baby boy next to Austen. I obviously never saw Austen this little, but I am almost positive that Austen looked exactly like Jayden looked.

I have been fortunate to have "met" some amazing women through this journey. The past 7 weeks I have been involved with a Hope Group thru Hope Mommies. It is a collection of women who "meet"-some in person, some online -and share their stories with one another, pray together, ask questions, share hurts, happinesses, recipes...and together find that there is still hope after the death of our precious sons and daughters. 

I have connected with two amazing moms-Jennifer and Ryan. Jennifer is my soul sister and leader through this journey to so many women. Ryan, I have felt a connection with since the beginning, she reached out and we have been close ever since. We share a lot of the same views! I feel I am finally able to really understand what having HOPE is. I know someday I will be reunited with my sweet baby boy Jayden.