Jayden

Today should have been a happy day, not a day full of tears and emptiness. My sweet Jayden should have been entering the world today as a full grown baby, healthy and happy to finally meet his family. His sister and brother were so excited for his arrival. Addison talked all about how she was going to hold him and help me with him. Austen was telling me that his favorite dinosaur is T-Rex. It is fitting that today is a cloudy day, I hope it is sunny in heaven my sweet boy. I hope you are filled with the love from your mom, dad and sister and brother. I hope you that you know how much we love you and wanted you. We were so excited for you to join our family, but instead of joining us on earth you went to heaven instead. The reason I will never know and life is still not fair. I think about all the milestones I will miss watching you grow, smile, laugh, crawl for the first time. I also think how it isn't fair that you don't have your mom and dad with you, but please know I think about you every day! I kiss your picture every night. I long to just hold you and kiss your sweet face. You looked so much like your brother when you were born. I can only imagine the trouble/fun you and Austen would have gotten into. I can see Addison being that protective big sister she already is to Austen. Mom and Dad love you so much! I still can not believe this day is here. My heart hurts so much for you. 

A Mother’s Love

I didn’t have to look into your eyes
to fall in love with you.
I didn’t need to hear you cry
to know you loved me too.
I didn’t need to hold your hand
to cherish you for always.
Within my womb, we shared our hearts.
You touched my soul.
You sweetened my spirit.
You gave me memories I’ll always hold dear.
Yes. My heart aches since you departed too soon.
But a mother’s love does not end with death.
For you are my child.
Forever my love is yours.