Happy 2021!!!

 I swear I mean well, but I can't keep up with this blog. I am so sad, because I love reading the past posts.

Well we start the year off, with Addison in 8th grade and Austen turned 11 and is in 5th. We are now in our new home and loving everything minute! We are very blessed to have found this amazing house and neighborhood.  Jay is still working from home thanks to Covid, but I also have found a full time job where I get to work from home!

It is a blessing for sure, but not everyone is used to me working all the time. It is an adjustment, but we are so thankful.

Addison is doing volleyball at Mission and Austen has found karate as a new hobby.

We are hoping to go to Florida in June and we need the break! 

I really promise to be better!

Easter...Quarantine Style

So Easter was a little different this year as well as everything else. We had a nice casual morning at home and my parents stopped by with Easter goodies for the kids. It was so weird not having to rush anywhere.

These times are tough, but I know we will be stronger once we make it thru to the other side of all this. The kids are struggling a bit with not being able to see friends or hug my parents, but this will all pass. I have hope and faith that we are getting closer to the time that things will slowly get back to a little bit of normal life. It will of course never be the same, but nothing really ever is.

 Social Distancing Easter Picture

What day is it?

I swear it sure is hard to keep track of what day it really is. It is hard to imagine the time when we were able to go to work, when the kids were in school, when we got to see family.

How is everyone doing out there? We have had some good moments. Last week was Spring Break, but it was different than it was supposed to be. Kids did not have get togethers with friends, I didn't get to have a girls night with my friends, Jay didn't get to travel for work.

We are enjoying family time by watching some movies that Jay and I loved. There are days when it feels like we are just in the movie Groundhog day. I know this is all necessary, but I am praying it all ends soon.

I have been keeping sane by getting up early and working out with my workout group. We get up by 6 to do a workout together via Zoom. It is so motivating! I love it!  I also got to catch a singer that Jay and I used to listen to at the Bradley bars... Hello Dave.

The kids also have been able to use Zoom to see their classmates and teachers. I keep reminding the kids that they are so lucky to have this technology to keep up with their school work and to FaceTime with their friends.

Here are some pictures from the past couple of days!

A Week

We have made it a week of being in the house. The kids survived their first week of e-learning and now we are officially on Spring Break!
We didn't have plans for Spring Break, but we at least planned on going places. We were going to head to Iowa to visit friends and family, but that had to be cancelled. This past weekend should have been Addison's last tournament with her volleyball team.

There are times when it is getting tough and we don't think there is an end in site, but I have hope that this will all come to an end soon enough. We will learn to appreciate so much more.

I admit the kids are handling it a little better than I am, but I am trying. Addison has been doing fashion shows with her clothes and cleaning out her closet of clothes that do not fit anymore or that she just doesn't like. Austen has been keeping busy with his drawing, listening to his favorite tv stars, reading. Here are some pictures of the last couple of days.

Day 2

Here is to Day 2 of e-learning. I think we did pretty good. I have hope and faith that we will get through this and be stronger because of it!

We had to get Addison's tooth fixed from when she fell. I treated them to McDonalds and then we headed home. We had e-learning for most of the afternoon. Austen and I took a virtual tour of the National History Museum in DC. It was pretty cool/ We decided to take break and went for a  walk. We then celebrated with a green milk and green beer. 

We will get through this! 

Update

I always plan to update more on here, but as always other things get in the way. Due to the US Coronavirus outbreak we are being forced to stay inside as much as we can and away from big crowds.

• Kids school have been closed.
• My work has been closed
• Starting today restaurants and bars will be closed to dine-in

I have seen lots of things come out from this outbreak and one thing that I think we need to remember is being kind doesn't cost a thing. I just don't understand all the rudeness and judgement. We need more smiles and less hate.

I will be better at updating. Today marked Day 1 of the kid's e-learning. It went surprisingly well! I am currently on my own while Jay is at work, but hopefully will be home sooner than later! 

Spring...No Break

We are at the end of our Spring Break. Last year the kids were spoiled and we went on the Disney Cruise with my parents. We usually don't go anywhere for Spring Break since we usually go to Florida in June. Well because of last year, my kids were wanting to know what we were doing for Spring Break this year.  I said we will be getting together with some friends, but mainly hanging around the house.

Now to a kid that sounds so boring, but to a mom that sounded heavenly. I loved not having to get up early in the morning before everyone else and get everyone ready. I am the one that makes sure everyone is up on time, dressed, fed and has everything ready for school. It has been nice to sleep in and slowly start our day. We have also been trying to limit the use of technology and I know to some parents that sounds awful especially it being break, but to me it was necessary.  I loved it! I was able to spend more time with my daughter. She is getting older and I know the days of her wanting to hang out with me are limited.

As much as I don't want this week to end, I know I don't have any control over it. I have to get back to work and the kids back to school. The next couple of months will be busy ones and before we know it, it will be Summer! Time is just flying way too fast. We all have to remember to just slow down, stop, and enjoy the little moments.

Life as a Mom

So I am not sure why it takes me so long to keep up with this. Life sure keeps me busy with these two kids. I am blessed with these two kids, but life sure can get hard at times. I have had many struggles more since losing Jayden. Yes, I know for those that follow my blog know that it has been over 4 years now of me losing Jayden, but every day it is still fresh. I am still not the same person I was before losing him. That is ok. It is okay for me not to be the same person. I am thankful for those people that have stuck by me thru it all.

So many years laters things have changed, mostly my kids have getting bigger. Addison is 11 going on 14. I look at her every day and can not believe that I have a daughter this old. She is so beautiful and I am so thankful she is mine. Life is tough sometimes because she gets hormonal and I feel bad that she has to go thru all this so early, but she is handling it so well. I want her to know so much that I am trying, I am really trying my hardest. Maybe it doesn't always seem like it, but I am really trying.
Austen, god bless him is my little man. I feel so much that at times I am closer to him because I believe Jayden is working thru him and almost living thru him in a way. I know that may sound weird, but it is so true. It at least feels true for me. He can give me a run for my money for sure, but when it comes down to it, I know that he tries his hardest to make sure I am ok.

I really feel that I try my hardest every day and not sure it seems like it on the outside. I know somedays it may not seem that way.

I am needing to realize that it is okay, for me to not always be okay. I try every day to be the best mom/wife I can be and I just hope my family knows that I am doing the best I can.

Christmas

I have been so bad at keeping up with my blog. I wish I was better, but time just gets away from me. Life between both kids activities, school, homework, my work, my business, and just keeping up with the home gets busy. I used to love to blog. It was an outlet for me. I sit and think about how much life has changed in the past years. I love watching the kids grow, but then again life is just moving too fast for me. I wanted to share a picture of the kids with Santa this year. Addison was very hesitant to sit on his lap, but Santa reminded her that you are never to old to believe and sit on Santa's lap. :)  That made me smile! Love these two so much!

Where have I been?

I am so sad that I haven't been able to keep this up.  I loved being able to do this, but I have been terrible about it. I mean how hard can this be to keep up a blog?! Very hard I guess.

I am not even going to attempt to recap what has been going on, but just start with the present.

Thankfully Addison and Austen is loving school! We are so thankful and blessed to have both kids with two amazing teachers. It is hard to believe this is the last year of elementary school for Addison. I mean it feels that she was just this old.

I am so not ready for this next stage in life, but I don't think anyone really is. She is really coming into her own person and I swear somedays she is 16. Help me! She is a beautiful girl and I am blessed every day that I get to be her mother, even though somedays I feel that I am not being a great one.

She loves volleyball and gymnastics and loves being around her friends! 

Austen is my sweet boy and I thank every day that he is mine. I can not believe he is in 2nd grade! Why does he have to be getting older? He is still a mama's boy and tells me he loves me about 100 times a day and I love it!  He loves school and his friends. He has such a sweet heart and he mentions Jayden all the time. It makes me sad at the same time. He is excited to start basketball this winter! I am proud of him that he wants to try something new. He is now a Wolf in Cub Scouts and already had his first campout! 

I am so blessed with these two amazing children.

Almost Summer

Where has the year gone? Honestly I feel the school year just started and here I am just 6 days left of school.  I have been blessed to have been working at Little Journey! I love my job and love that I get to work with such amazing families. I am ready for a break for sure.

Addison and Austen I think are ready for school to be over, but also sad. They both loved their teachers and class this year. I am so glad that they had a great year. We are looking forward to summer for our trip to Florida in June, which is always a fun time.

I need to comment right now on what is currently going on at my house. My daughter, my 10 year old daughter is outside with 2 friends doing music.ly videos and chatting about boys!! I don't remember doing any of this when I was 10.

I have noticed this year especially Addison has grown up a ton! She know will only wear certain things to school, cares about what everyone thinks...except her mom, talks to her friends on the phone! I am so not ready for all the new stuff. When did I get to be a mom with a 10 year old and a 7 year old. Seriously??

Where are these kids?

It feels like just yesterday they were little! I miss those times so much! If I think about it too much I will start crying! I miss so much of when they were toddlers. I know there are so many more memories to look forward to and make. Life goes so fast! I am thankful I can be around as much as I am. I always say to those parents who have toddlers and keep wishing for them to grow up sooner, it will be gone before you know it. Enjoy it, treasure that time, embrace every moment you have!

This got a lot deeper that I thought it would, but anywhere I am back to blogging and hope to keep it up every week! 

Seriously...Where have I been?

This is so not like me?!? I used to post all the time and now the last time I posted was in May?!! So crazy! Well obviously so much has happened since May that trying to catch up would take forever.

I can focus on just some of the highlights. Addison turned 10...10 how and when did this happen?!?! She had a fun birthday party at Color Me Mine with some of her close friends. Another big thing that happened for her is she experienced her first sleepover!! She had an amazing time and actually stayed the whole night! I remember how fun sleepovers were when I was little! I am excited for her to experience more, just not sure I am ready for them to be at my house. 😁.

Austen had a good summer reuniting with his kindergarten class. His teacher was so amazing and will forever have a place in our hearts. The whole class got along so well and Austen learned so much in kindergarten that Miss Gauger(his teacher) set the bar so high for any other teacher he would have in the future.

We were pleased after going to Open House learned that both kids were going to have a great year with good teachers. Addison had a rough year last year so it is nice to know that this year will be so different. 😄 Luckily they both LOVE school and have already met a lot of new friends.

Addison and Austen are playing soccer this fall which makes it fun and interesting for Jay and I since both games are on Saturdays⚽️. Jay is coaching Austen so he is always with him.  Addison also started gymnastics this fall and is loving every minute of it. She is very good and we are so proud of her!

I was very excited to learn that I was going to be at Little Journey Preschool 5 days this fall teaching the 2 year olds and the 3 year olds.😄 I am so blessed to have worked there last year and it just feels like home to me. I am very thankful that I get to go to that Preschool every day to work with amazing teachers and get to be around amazing kids and their families. It is a true blessing!

We just had some amazing pictures taken by the amazing Nikki Sustek! If you need pictures taken, she is your girl! Nikki is amazing because she is so good at adding our precious boy to our pictures.  I miss Jayden every single day. My life just isn't the same without him. How can we be coming up on 3 years without him!? I can't even wrap my head around it right now. I am so thankful for the people I have met along the way and who I have connected with because of him. I have also had people contact me because of our loss and I have been able to share my story with so many people. I love when I can share Jayden, or when people ask about him. I love when people ask about him, it makes my day. Sometimes people are like I am sorry for bringing him up, but I say you bringing him up doesn't make me sad. I know that he isn't with me, but by you bringing him up it helps me know that other people acknowledge that he did live and I will forever be his mom. I pray every day that he is looking down on me and is proud of me. I hate that I am not with him now, but when my time comes to reunite with him, I will never ever let him go.

I will promise that I will try and post more often, I know I said that before but I will try harder!

Snow Day

The kids did a mini musical the last weekend in January. It was so cute and it was Austen's 1st musical. He was nervous at first, but then so excited every time he got to do it. It helped that his friend Ally from his class was doing it as well. I got so much joy seeing both of my kids up on stage together. I love that they both have my love of music and theater. Addison is already talking about doing it again next year! Now they are both on to soccer!

Time is flying

It has been so long since I have written on my blog. I am not sure why I haven't. I feel like so much has happened in just these past couple months. Austen starting kindergarten was a big shock for me, thankfully he has an amazing teacher. I am not sure what I would do if Miss Gauger wasn't his teacher. She is definitely a gift sent from God. Austen is loving kindergarten which is amazing and in just these past couple of months he has learned so much. He is so proud of himself and so our we. There is still a part of me that hurts everytime he gets on that bus every morning. How can my little man be gone all day?? I should have a 2 year old at home and the thought of Jayden not being here with me is so hard.

Addison is loving 3rd grade, but she is realizing it is not as much fun as 2nd grade. Although she does get to use Chrome books every day which she was so excited about. I feel like she is growing up so fast and I am not sure how I feel about it. I love that we can share more together, but sometimes..all the time I wish she was my cute little toddler. She is loving soccer right now and is loving the team she is on. We couldn't be more proud of her.

I can hardly believe it is November. Time is just going too fast! I am keeping busy working for Rodan and Fields as a Consultant, an Assistant Preschool teacher and still working at the gym. I LOVE all my jobs, but they for sure keep me busy! I hope to blog more than I have been. I feel that blogging helps me especially when I am coming up to Jayden's 2 year.

Addison and Austen

Addison and Austen seem to be growing up so fast these days. I just don't know how I can be the mother of an 8 and 5 year old. Time is going so fast, before I know it I will be registering Austen for kindergarten. :( Does NOT make me happy!

Addison is LOVING school and we are so thankful that she has the same teacher she had for 1st grade! She is learning and growing just too fast! She will be making her First Holy Communion this May and I am so proud of her! Every time I look at her I just don't understand how she could have grown as fast as she did. She is really into singing and theater which of course makes me happy since that is my background! She is a loving and outgoing girl with lots of friends. It breaks my heart sometimes when she gets her feelings hurt but friends, but for the most part she is a very strong, independent girl. I am so blessed that she is mine!

 Austen is growing so fast. How can he be starting kindergarten in the fall!?!? Luckily he is LOVING school these days! He is so cute with his best buddy Mason. He has been so good at school this year and is coming such a long way! He can even write his own name! Jay and I are beyond proud of him. When we were at his last conference with his teacher I looked through all the paperwork the teacher was going through and could still picture him as that tiny 5 lb baby boy in the hospital. Why does time have to go so fast?! Through everything we have been through with losing Jayden, I am so thankful to have Austen home with me. He is my sweet snuggle bug and tells me he loves me about 100 times a day! How lucky am I?

At the same time I can not believe that I have a baby boy in heaven?!? There are still days that I am like wait this is MY reality! I miss Jayden every single minute of the day! I pray that he knows how much I love him and miss him! If I stop to think about how he was robbed of knowing my love and when I think about all the firsts I am missing makes my heart ache! I just pray that I will see him again and it will feel like I had never left his side.